


ain't got cash (but i got you)

by LittleMissRainbow



Series: raindrops [7]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Don't Judge Me, Don't copy to another site, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Victor is a diva but nothing's new there, if they look weird it's because i wrote this at 2 am instead of working on my essay, now with added fic notes!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22973434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissRainbow/pseuds/LittleMissRainbow
Summary: In which Victor needs a job, Yuri keeps disappearing to get coffee, and Yuuri just wants to know why there's a sudden influx of gorgeous people in the cafe he works at (and if that one Russian guy would sign his number on Yuuri's ass).aka the disaster College/Coffee shop AU
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Series: raindrops [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1245167
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	ain't got cash (but i got you)

**Author's Note:**

> the college/coffeeshop au no one needed to be subjected to but suffer with me anyway
> 
> Edit: After much deliberation, I added my story notes in. Nobody @ me.

Victor Nikiforov is a god among ordinary men.

At the very tender age of three, he has been lauded as a child prodigy in the arts for his role of Ophelia in baby theater. He's a student-athlete who has won numerous awards on figure skating, gymnastics and curling. He is Grand Prix State University's Most Eligible ManTM (also ranked #1 on College Hotties and Guys I Want to Step on Me five years running). He has the most adorable dog ever (Makkachin has been crowned Top Dog ever since she was spotted illegally napping at the student center).

He is also having the biggest crisis known to mankind.

Victor slams his hands on Yakov's fancy dean table (because he's dramatic like that). "Are you telling me I've been disowned?!"

A few minutes ago, Victor was just shopping for new outfits and a Queen Victoria marble bust collectible when he has been informed that his credit bounced. As with most things in Victor's life that don't make sense, only Yakov has the answer to everything.

Yakov merely sighs like a chainsmoker out of coke and keeps typing away on his Windows '78. "Your parents haven't disowned you, Vitya."

"Then why did they cancel all my credit cards?" He is astounded as to how calm Yakov is being given that Victor is reaching Stress Level 72 (said level includes chipmunk voice pitch and disappearing eyebrows). Usually it's the other way around.

"Vitya," Yakov raises his head and gives a Victor a Look (and Victor has to close his eyes momentarily to refrain blinding himself from the glare of Yakov's Baldspot), "your spending habits have become too unreasonable. You've become too reckless with your money and your parents have simply decided to discipline you."

"What do you mean 'unreasonable'? I don't buy things without reason!" Victor says, affronted, because he is a drama king.

"You bought 12 confetti canons just a few months ago."

"It was Chris' birthday."

"The garish pink convertible parked illegally in the courtyard?"

"How could I not buy a beauty like that?"

"Just last week, you bought an inflatable bouncy castle!"

"Makkachin has been a very good dog and she deserves it!" Victor would stomp his foot if Yakov could see it, but he won't so he didn't.

Yakov resisted heading his very fancy table that held his very fancy nameplate. "Whatever the case, your parents have made the decision, so you're just going to have to live with it. Your tuition and dorm expenses have already been paid in full so all you need to worry about are your personal expenditures. You'll get your set allowance from me every 15th of the month. Other than that, direct all your questions and violent reactions to your parents."

"But I coudn't contact them," Victor not-whines. Last he heard, his parents were in a deserted forest in Aruba looking for rubies or dinosaur eggs--and that was two months ago. It's a miracle they managed to talk to Yakov.

Yakov just gives him a can't-help-ya-there-bud shrug and leaves Victor to complain loudly as he continues to type in his tank. Any minute now, Lilia would hand him his 3PM coffee; she can handle Victor.

* * *

* * *

**Story Notes:**

\- Fic title is from Sia's Cheap Thrills

\- Yuuri has a thing for cute people and tasty butts. Chris is still “Mr. Assman” tho.

\- Yuri has a big, fat, awkward puppy dog crush on Yuuri to absolutely nobody's surprise.

\- Victor has a big, fat, awkward not-puppy dog crush on Yuuri.

\- Yuuri is a cute, anxious little butterball and everyone wants a lick.

\- Everyone has a thing for Ciao Ciao's coffee but that's definitely second to their thing for Yuuri.

\- Last time someone had the courage to ask Yuuri out and got accidentally rejected by an ever-oblivious Yuuri, everyone gathered around that person and had a huge hug circle. This happens every week. Yuuri is still confused.

\- All the staff in Ciao Ciao's coffeeshop has a nickname and that's what's written on their nametags. Yes, this is Phichit's fault.

\- The "Keep Silent" rule of the coffeeshop is just for display because nobody actually follows that shitty rule.

\- Written at the back of the "Keep Silent" sign is a list of customers in the coffeeshop that have tried confessing to Yuuri and got rejected as well as a betting board about the guys confessing to Yuuri and how long they’ll last until they give up courting Yuuri. Phichit's thinking of adding another "Keep Silent" sign because it's almost full, despite Phichit's best efforts. Only Yuuri doesn't know about this.

\- Yuuri eats his feelings and everyone finds it somehow both sexy and adorable.

\- Yuuri gives stuffed toys and candy to the customers he thinks needs to be protected at all costs. (He gave a teddy bear to Guanghong and later a tiger plushie to Yurio. Even though Minami works with him, he always gives him lollipops.)

\- Yuuri's favorite pastry in the coffeeshop is called "Yuuri's Buns" (thanks Phichit). They always go out of stock by noon (and not just because of Yuuri's eating habits; nope definitely not).

\- Yuuri utilizes all of his pockets (from his jeans to his apron) for emergency snack supply. He once managed to pocket a bag of potato chips in there.

\- Whenever customers try to offer Yuuri their food or drink (because they're trying to pick him up), Yuuri somehow thinks that the customer wants it sent back because Yuuri made it wrong/there’s something wrong with it etc etc. Phichit comes out with a new drink/food and consoles the customer with the "Keep Silent" sign in hand, indulgent, pitying look on his face, and asks them to sign it.

\- If Steve had a handy-dandy notebook, Phichit has the "Keep Silent" sign (and his ever faithful phone, though that's already a given).

\- Once Yuuri had to go to work with his hair slicked back because of a dance recital. For once, the coffeeshop actually _was_ silent.

\- Coffeeshop name is still undecided. "The Coffee Rink"? "Ciao Ciao's Coffee and Crusty Treats"? "Bean There, Bun That" because I'm a glutton for punishment?

\- Nobody knows Celestino's real name. They just assume it's Ciao Ciao. Phichit is very proud about this.

\- Four solid facts about this AU:

  1. Yuuri is quiet about it, but he's definitely Thirsty for Victor.
  2. Victor is Thirsty for Yuuri and everyone and their mother knows it except Yuuri.

  3. Yuri has a baby crush on Yuuri and tries to be subtle about it but fails.

  4. Yakov's Baldspot is legendary. Mr. Clean should step aside.



**Author's Note:**

> _feel the crack energy_


End file.
